


Xenophobia Sucks

by bakedgoldfish



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-21
Updated: 2003-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:37:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedgoldfish/pseuds/bakedgoldfish
Summary: Charlie POV piece, a little angst and all. Leo's in it. Of course. Hee hee.





	Xenophobia Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Xenophobia Sucks**

**by:** Baked Goldfish

**Character(s):** Charlie  
**Category(s):** Angst  
**Rating:** YTEEN, slight language.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, no money being made.  
**Summary:** Charlie POV piece, a little angst and all. Leo's in it. Of course. Hee hee.  
**Spoiler:** In the Shadow of Two Gunmen  


This, our darkest hour. 

My fault. God, it's my fault. 

They weren't aiming for the president. Or Leo. Or anyone else on his staff. 

God, they were aiming for me. For me. 

And they hit the president. And Josh. The president had a bullet go through him because of me. Joshua Lyman still has one in him because of me. Lord, Joshua Lyman might die because of me. 

Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me, Josh. I never thought, in a million years, that I would kill you. 

Because two punk kids had really bad aim, you might die. And the president... 

I have to get out of this room. It's... it's stifling. I have to get out of this building. So much death... 

I've been here before. With Mom. I didn't like it. I don't like it. 

Mom, if you're listening to me, keep Josh safe. Please? I mean, I know that there's not much you can do, but... if you could just- 

What am I doing. This is stupid, he's in there *dying* for chrissake, and I'm out here crying to mommy. And mommy's not even here to hear me. 

God, what is wrong with me?! He's in there dying because of me, that's what. A perfectly nice, good guy is in this sterile, ugly operating room dying. Because of what I look like. 

I never held any illusions that crap like this doesn't happen in today's society. Never. For crying out loud, I grew up in DC. It's not *possible* to hold such utopian illusions as true when you grow up in the nation's capital. 

But to think that these guys had the balls--no, no, the sheer ignorance--to try and get at me when I'm standing next to the President of the goddamned United States... *that* is just... God. Just, God. 

If only I hadn't met Zoey Bartlet, none of this would've happened. If only I hadn't been hired, I would never have met Zoey Bartlet. If only Mom hadn't been shot, I wouldn't have even applied for a job there in the first place. If only I hadn't asked her to take that shift, she would still be here. 

If only. If only. 

Wow, it's chilly out here. In the springtime, it's chilly. That's odd... I don't think I've ever been this cold before in the springtime. Maybe it's Mother Nature reacting to the events of tonight. Okay, so that was hokey. Well. What can you expect from someone who's just been shot at. 

From someone who caused the most powerful man on the planet to get shot. 

From someone who might be the cause of someone else's death. 

Dammit. 

And dammit again, there's someone else who's decided to come outside. I can hear the door behind me. This is a loading dock, or something, so there wouldn't be too many people coming out here for anything on a normal basis, so I can assume that it's someone coming out for some night air, or something. Probably a doctor, or someone. 

Hell. Oh, hell. Leo McGarry. 

The last person I wanted to see tonight. 

I mean, what do you say to a guy whose best friend just got shot because of you? There's nothing you possibly *can* say. He is absolutely the last person I want to see. 

Now, don't get me wrong, he's a good guy. A really good guy. I like him. Everybody does, the way you like your dad, or something. But, his best friend and his second-in-command are laid up in hospital beds because of me. I'd hate me right now if I were him. 

He sees me. I'm just gonna try to disappear into the ground right now. Guess that didn't work, 'cause he's walking towards me. Can't ignore him, now can I? Well, he's smiling a little, guess that's a good sign or something. Of course, he *could* just be lulling me into a false sense of security before he bludgeons me to death. 

No, that's not right. He's a good guy; I shouldn't be getting all sarcastic about him. He's probably just gonna try to comfort me or something. Whatever. Doesn't really matter, now does it? 

"Hey Charlie," he says as he squeezes my shoulder. Supportive-like, you know. 

"Leo." 

He drops his hand. He seems... wow. He seems uncomfortable. The smile's gone. Well, no wonder. I mean, President Bartlet's his best friend, and Josh is like a son to him, whether either of them realize it or not. And I'm the one who put bullets in them. No wonder he's uncomfortable around me. 

But I didn't realize he could be anything but calm and collected until just now. 

He's not looking at me anymore. I guess I should be thankful for that. I don't really want to see the scorn in his eyes. His hands go into his pockets, and he looks a little more comfortable. Good for you, Leo. And I really do mean that. 

"Charlie, I need to tell you something." 

He seems hesitant. You firing me tonight, Leo? Wouldn't be too surprised. I don't mind, and I don't blame you. I'd do the same thing, if our roles were switched. I'll be okay, Leo, just tell me I'm gone, and I'm gone. No questions asked, no hard feelings. I'll still respect you, and everyone else in this administration. 

"Those two kids out there, tonight..." 

He's still hesitant. Suddenly, he turns to face me, and he's holding me by the shoulders, forcing me to face him. Okay, maybe he *is* trying to kill me... 

"Charlie, they were ignorant. You hear me?" 

I manage to nod my head, still a little bit stunned by the way his eyes look. They're red-rimmed, and moist. "Y-yeah, Leo," I whisper a little hoarsely. 

He shakes me a little. "No, you're not hearing me. Charlie, it wasn't your fault." 

What the hell... "Leo-" 

"Charlie, listen to me. *Listen* to me." Okay, okay, I'm listening. " I know you're tearing yourself up about this. I just want you to know, nobody blames you. Nobody blames you, because it wasn't your fault. Do you hear me, Charlie?" 

Yeah, Leo... yeah. I hear you. 

He's still looking at me sadly. Like *I'm* the one who's been hurt. Out of nowhere, he reaches up and puts his hand to my cheek, wiping something away. I can feel the moisture cooling on my face where his hand had been. Then he turns and goes back into the hospital, wordlessly. 

When he's at the door, I'm still looking at him. I don't think he can see me, because it's utterly dark outside; but, he turns to look at me anyway. He's waiting at the door, holding it open for me. 

I follow him back inside. 

-end- 


End file.
